So after spending all afternoon reading about one blogger's bunion and hammertoe surgery I figured it was my turn to get up and write about my recent experience.
Background:
I've always had trouble with my pinky-toe on my right foot. Well not always I guess but for the past 9-10 years. Hey, at 26 that is a lot of my life! So anyway, on vacation in North Carolina my DH and I were walking our (then) dog and I was my carefree 18 year old self who decided I would walk barefoot. WRONG. Dog took a quick left turn and I kicked my DH (then boyfriend) right in his very hard ankle (he has strong bones!). OWWW!! Since this was my first vacation with the in-laws and my DH was convinced I cried wolf quite a bit (which I did at the time) I was left to crawl/limp/hobble/cry myself to sleep over a broken toe which no one agreed existed. Yeah...
Fast forward to the first few joyful months of horse ownership. Ah...I love my widdle-snappy-poo, who's a good-widdle-howsie? Let me hug your great big neck! OWWWWW!! Little whore stood on my foot and wouldn't get off. OK....so this time completely my fault and a common injury around horses.
Lets all visit the podiatrist!! Yeah! Of course I chose the oldest most jewish podiatrist out there (hey I'm a Jew, I can say that). After an x-ray he said nothing was broken but the reason I kept getting a "hurty toe" as I called it was a corn A corn??? But I have pretty feet! Ugly feet have corns!! Yup, I had a slight "hammertoe" which would eventually need surgery if I wanted it fixed. A couple more visits and corn removals and I was ready for surgery. I scheduled it. I went to the pre-op consult and got my prescriptions. I called it off the next morning and avoided the podiatrist for about a year.
But corns don't go away. They keep coming back. So back I went. Gosh I don't like this man and really 8 weeks of recovery for a tiny toe? It seemed quite ridiculous to me. OK, I made a bargain with myself that when the corn came back I was having the surgery.
I started to think about doctors and how much I love our vet and hated our (then) doctor. You shouldn't have to deal with asshole doctors. I called a new podiatrist. I arrived at his office promptly and was told immediately that this is a genetic condition that would be about 3 weeks of recovery IF I did the surgery. I LOVED this new doctor and when he said the magic words of "You should be able to ride in a paddock boot in one week post-op" I almost kissed him. He knew horses!
I went and got my x-rays and scheduled my appointment for an off time of riding- early December. I finished my holiday shopping and wrapped everything. I convinced myself I'd be healed by Christmas. Then I waited. And changed my mind. Again. Again. Again....and again.
Evening of December 6:
Oh my God there is no way in hell I can go through with this! After many obsessive hours (who, me?) of scouring Youtube and Google for info on surgery, anestisia, sutures, recovery, etc..... I had thoroughly talked myself out of having this damned thing done. But then I would inconvenience everyone ready to assist me in my toe recovery.
December 7: Day 0
D-Day- apt wouldn't you agree? I prepared for my surgery and arrived when they told me to. Except they forgot I was waiting for 30 minutes. Nice.
I was taken back to a pre-op room where I was asked a bunch of questions by a very nice nurse. I changed and was wrapped in warm (128 degree) blankets and prepared for most likely the hardest part of the ordeal- the IV. Dreaded.
I have tiny veins. No really, you think I'm kidding you but they are super-duper tiny. Just ask my 3 nurses and their 15 attempts (only 2 sticks than God!) to find a vein. I was crying. I was shaking. I was begging for my husband. My doctor just watched while the nurses kept on trying. FUCKING OW!!!! But once it was in and I cried for 20 more minutes I was ready for my surgery.
The new surgical nurse lead me down to the OR and I sat on the table. The doctor told me to "scooch" down. More...more....WHAM direct shot to his male members! Pregnant pause....everyone acted like it didn't happen. Then they strapped me down! I started to feel dizzy and I was told it was the anestisia. Thank God! I fell asleep.
I heard a distant calling of my name. Slowly I opened my eyes. Slowly. I felt nice and sleepy and had no pain at all. After I woke up I had a piece of string cheese (must be GF) ginger ale and hot chocolate. After a conversation with the nurse here I was taken to be discharged. All was explained and I was sent home.
Fucking traffic. Fucking grey-ass weather. Fuck. I'm going to puke. We pulled over and I drooled a lot for a few minutes. Phew! One minute from home and F.U.C.K. pull over NOW. Where I proceeded to puke up my hot chocolate and cheese. Nice.
After that all was groovy. I got home and my nerve block had me feeling like nothing happened at all.
December 8: Day 1
2am Hmm....ow. Maybe someone should have mentioned that I needed to keep my foot elevated even when sleeping? Must have Percocet. I nicely ask my DH for 1/2 a pill. I got a nasty response about him just going to sleep and blah blah blah. So he got me a half of a pill
7am No way I'm sleeping. I hobble downstairs in my surgical shoe to take advil (800 mg) and another Percocet. Fall asleep on couch with my foot up. Life's not so bad.
10am My Mommy came over to take care of me. There is nothing like your Mommy when you're sick :). Even when you're an adult! I dare you to resist Mommy power. Drugs= GOOD! More and more and more and more.....
11pm Drugs (2 percs) (1 advil) night night! I was in the guest bedroom since I couldn't go under the covers and I was close to the bathroom. GOOD THINKING DH!!!
December 9: Day 2
5am I don't feel good. Hobble to bathroom. Puke. Great.
6am I don't feel good again. repeat above sequence.
7am FUCK!!! Not again! this time alert husband who is petrified of vomitting.
The next 3 hours were filled with 30 minutes of relief and then gut wrenching WRETCHES of dry heaves. The good DH called the Doctor who was at church. Church? No answering service? Just a cell phone? Finally he gets back to us and thinks I'm having a narcotics interaction because I'm a "small girl". Well yes I am. Can I please stop puking please because I'd much rather die. Oh, and keep that foot up! :). Fuck. You.
10:15 am Zofran arrives!!!!!! Thank the heavens for this wonderful seretonin blocker. Puking stopped immediately. I pass out for most of the day.
DH rarely checks on me....asshole. Truly....asshole. Mother comes back over- yeah Mommy power!
Evening....hobble downstairs and join land of living. Find my cats haven't been fed all day. Great. Make it through the evening and head upstairs.
1am. What the FUCK kind of pain is this???? I start laughing out of lunacy. It HURT!!! Luckily the DH was awake and could bring me buckets of ice packs. Somehow I made it through. Somehow.
December 10: Day 3
Supposed to be back at work. HAHAHAHA!!!!!! Funny. Spend day with Mommy as things keep on hurting. Pressure is unbearable.
December 11: Day 4
Enough. This hurts. Something is wrong. Call doctor. He actually answers! (Have I mentioned what a saint he is?). Bandage might be too tight, I can loosen it myself. Nah.... OK, fine, come in and he'll do it. Yeah!! So I had my bandage removed! Toe looked ridiculously straight and sutured. Ick. Bad bruising from bandage being too tight. Gee.....
December 12: Day 5
Back at work! Though hobbling. Pain not so bad.... do-able.
Finish work week with a visit to the horse on Friday night.
December 15: Day 8
Family Christmas party. Lasts all day long. Ow. Really, kids running around is terrifying in a post-op shoe. Talk about hell.
December 16: Day 9
Try "normal shoe". One with biggest toe-box creates so much pressure that just sitting throbs. That lasted about 1 hour. Fucking sutures are tugging at my skin and driving me crazy!!!
December 18: Day 11
10:45 am Sutures out!! Man that thing looks UGLY. Huge scab. Is that normal? I guess so, doctor isn't too concerned. Had to hold DH hand through suture removal which was mildly painful. Told to wear normal shoes. Hahahaah.
1pm I try normal shoes again. This time I'm convinced I'll make it work. Sitting is OK but walking feels like I have a broken toe.
2pm Call doctor to make sure broken toe feeling is normal. He FINALLY admits he took a piece of bone out so it is going to feel that way and the pain will get less and less. Before he said it was just a deep skin wound feeling. I've had broken toes- this feels like one.
End of work day: shoe still on but not tight. Must do some last minute holiday shopping so surgical shoe back on so I can walk faster.
